The Full Circle has come full circle. My blog is a year old. And in honor of the (in?)auspicious occasion, I thought I'd treat my loyal readers (nearly a baker's dozen poor souls who are willing to admit they read on a regular basis) and any newcomers or passers by to a sampling of my favorites. I've chosen 5. Feel free to disagree or to pile on your own.
These are in no particular order:
My Camel is Broken - The Negev, Thursday December 21
It was hard to choose a favorite from my 11 part Birthright Israel series. If you haven't read the Israel posts, this is my writing at its best. The "Camel" post is maybe the funniest of the 11, so there it is, but the other 10 are good reads, too. Even the 2nd or 3rd time around.
The Most Important Story (story of the week June 4-7)
The number of U.S. military casualties in Iraq crosses the 3,500 mark, but the media is distracted by Paris Hilton. And I'm confused.
Spell Check and update (story of the week May 28-June1)
I set out to criticize home schooling and then nail ESPN for runining the appeal of the Scripps National Spelling Bee by upping the production value and exploiting its popularity. Kind of the way FOX is about to ruin American Gladiators. That's not why I'm including it in my top 5, though.
A week later, I offered an update when I confirmed that the 2007 National Spelling Bee winner, a home-schooled 13 year old named Evan O'Dorney, had Asperger's, further supporting my opinion that home schooling removes the important social component that a regular school provides. The update showed up on a couple of Asberger's related discussion websites, and I got some rare anonymous comments from passionate AS parents on both sides of the argument.
And Sometimes, It's Like This...
A great "impulse post" and the most concise answer I can come up with to the question "what do you do for a living?"
Foofaraw - President's Day Edition
Soon after The Full Circle was born, I came across the word "Foofaraw" and immediately regretted the title of my blog. I didn't change the title, but I did begin an irregular feature for the blog called Foofaraw - fusses over matters of little importance. This is the sheer best of that feature.
Can't believe it's been a year...
What was your favorite?
Showing posts with label Foofaraw. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Foofaraw. Show all posts
Monday, December 10, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
A Post About Nothing
No, that's not a clever Seinfeld tie-in title, this really is a post about nothing. Why? I feel like it, deal with it. You know what they say...
It was a short week last week because of Rosh Hashana, so I missed the "time to write a story of the week" bus, and if you think about it you're probably grateful because the last one was a 1 minute fake commercial dialogue about a story that really doesn't impact your life unless you were one of those shmoes who bought an iPhone you know what?
I'm sick of the iPhone. No, see this is a post about nothing. Nothing at all. I was going to talk about how we don't use the word "kerfuffle" enough, but that's about as far as I got on that idea. Too much of a kerfuffle. A whole big stinkin' kerfuffle. The hebrew word for kerfuffle is "balagan." And that's about all I had for that post.
By now I should be calling this foofaraw, and if you've read my blog regularly (both of you) you know what that is and that this is probably it. Foofaraw, kerfuffle, jinkerteeslitz, whatever you want to call it. I made the third one up because you can't just have two, and hoopla is a stupid word. So is furthermore. "And furthermore..." he said, as the pole lodged in his buttocks shifted ever so slightly... makes people sound like douche bags.
speaking of which...
no. I won't go there. I don't have anything to go there with anyway.
Oh, if you're trying to figure out just what it is "they say" (paragraph 1), don't. They don't say anything. You know what they say....
You know what they say? Me neither.
It was a short week last week because of Rosh Hashana, so I missed the "time to write a story of the week" bus, and if you think about it you're probably grateful because the last one was a 1 minute fake commercial dialogue about a story that really doesn't impact your life unless you were one of those shmoes who bought an iPhone you know what?
I'm sick of the iPhone. No, see this is a post about nothing. Nothing at all. I was going to talk about how we don't use the word "kerfuffle" enough, but that's about as far as I got on that idea. Too much of a kerfuffle. A whole big stinkin' kerfuffle. The hebrew word for kerfuffle is "balagan." And that's about all I had for that post.
By now I should be calling this foofaraw, and if you've read my blog regularly (both of you) you know what that is and that this is probably it. Foofaraw, kerfuffle, jinkerteeslitz, whatever you want to call it. I made the third one up because you can't just have two, and hoopla is a stupid word. So is furthermore. "And furthermore..." he said, as the pole lodged in his buttocks shifted ever so slightly... makes people sound like douche bags.
speaking of which...
no. I won't go there. I don't have anything to go there with anyway.
Oh, if you're trying to figure out just what it is "they say" (paragraph 1), don't. They don't say anything. You know what they say....
You know what they say? Me neither.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Foofaraw - Or what I've learned so far this week (and it's only Wednesday!)
Here's what I've learned so far this week:
- Teleprompters only malfunction when your anchor is live on the air.
- Time Warner Cable sucks. Sucks beyond belief, actually. At work, the cable was out for a whole day, an entire day cut off from our own air because the cable company owned by the same people who pay my salary can't figure out how to get service to us for an entire day. At home, the DVR just decides to stop recording things in the middle (if it records them at all) and sometimes, when you change the channel, all you get is a blank screen. Sucks. They suck. And they know they suck, so they stock their call centers with double-digit IQs who call you "Mr. David" and treat you like a ping pong ball. Sucks.
- When you have to say publicly "I'm not gay. I've never been gay" --- you're gay. (more on this to come)
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Ok, Time for some Foofaraw
In case you're just tuning in:
Foofaraw -- n. a great fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant
Here we go:
I can't help feeling today like I was "that guy" on the train and, worse, "that guy" on the Subway and in the Subway station. You know, that guy who schleps on a ton of luggage, takes up extra seats, clogs up the turnstiles, stops at the bottom of the stairs to pick up his inordinately heavy bag. You know, that guy. Normally, I hate that guy. But today, I was that guy.
See, I'm moving on Saturday but my lease starts today, so I schlepped in a suitcase and an air mattress for my first night in the new apartment. But that meant commuting in with all that stuff. And it meant getting slightly stuck in a subway turnstile, taking up an extra seat or general area in the subway car, then pausing ever so slightly to pick up my inordinately heavy rolling suitcase to climb up the stairs.
So if I held you up today by being that guy, I'm sorry. I'm fully aware of my transgression, but it was unavoidable. Oh what's the difference, you're not reading this anyway...
*************************************************************************
Looking for somebody, anybody, who either has used or knows someone who has used or bought HeadOn. Did you apply directly to the forehead? Did it work? I have to know.
Then again, I could watch the commercials over and over until I give myself a headache and try it for myself.
*************************************************************************
Today my co-worker told me that male sharks have two penises, and nobody knows exactly why.
*************************************************************************
The following is a transcript of the monologue from what I think might be the most overlooked commercial ever:
(internal monologue) wait a minute!
This feels all wrong. Just because they're doing it doesn't mean I have to.
Why eat a hamburger made from frozen beef? It'll be all dry!
Instead of fresh. And juicy.
Frozen hamburger? This is ridiculous!
(out loud) I deserve a hot...juicy burger.
That's right, you heard me! I deserve a hot juicy burger.
And not because I can tear a phone book with my bare hands! No!
I deserve a hot juicy burger because I have a mouth, and it wants one.
And so do you.
And so do you!
Hot juicy burger!
Hot juicy burger!
Hot juicy burger!
Hot juicy burger!
Genius.
Foofaraw -- n. a great fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant
Here we go:
I can't help feeling today like I was "that guy" on the train and, worse, "that guy" on the Subway and in the Subway station. You know, that guy who schleps on a ton of luggage, takes up extra seats, clogs up the turnstiles, stops at the bottom of the stairs to pick up his inordinately heavy bag. You know, that guy. Normally, I hate that guy. But today, I was that guy.
See, I'm moving on Saturday but my lease starts today, so I schlepped in a suitcase and an air mattress for my first night in the new apartment. But that meant commuting in with all that stuff. And it meant getting slightly stuck in a subway turnstile, taking up an extra seat or general area in the subway car, then pausing ever so slightly to pick up my inordinately heavy rolling suitcase to climb up the stairs.
So if I held you up today by being that guy, I'm sorry. I'm fully aware of my transgression, but it was unavoidable. Oh what's the difference, you're not reading this anyway...
*************************************************************************
Looking for somebody, anybody, who either has used or knows someone who has used or bought HeadOn. Did you apply directly to the forehead? Did it work? I have to know.
Then again, I could watch the commercials over and over until I give myself a headache and try it for myself.
*************************************************************************
Today my co-worker told me that male sharks have two penises, and nobody knows exactly why.
*************************************************************************
The following is a transcript of the monologue from what I think might be the most overlooked commercial ever:
(internal monologue) wait a minute!
This feels all wrong. Just because they're doing it doesn't mean I have to.
Why eat a hamburger made from frozen beef? It'll be all dry!
Instead of fresh. And juicy.
Frozen hamburger? This is ridiculous!
(out loud) I deserve a hot...juicy burger.
That's right, you heard me! I deserve a hot juicy burger.
And not because I can tear a phone book with my bare hands! No!
I deserve a hot juicy burger because I have a mouth, and it wants one.
And so do you.
And so do you!
Hot juicy burger!
Hot juicy burger!
Hot juicy burger!
Hot juicy burger!
Genius.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
FOOFARAW
Today is Flag Day.
Flag day commemorates the adoption of the US Flag by the Second Continental Congress in 1777. It was proclaimed a holiday by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916, and made National Flag Day by an act of Congress in 1949.
The largest Flag Day Parade in America takes place in (where else?) Troy, NY. This is from the Troy website:
No day off for Flag Day? They had to move the parade to Sunday? You're lame, Troy, NY. Have some respect, celebrate on the actual Flag Day.
http://www.troyny.org/visittroy/flagdayparade.html
=========================================================
Here's a few more fusses over matters of little importance...
Top 10 Reasons I won't be getting an iPhone when it comes out on June 29th:
10. I already have a phone.
9. I already have an iPod.
8. That thing is wayyyy too cool for me.
7. I'm secretly hoping it doesn't sell so CNN doesn't feel obligated to report the sales record.
6. Full color screen? movies, music, email, internet and a phone in that little thing? How long does the battery last, 5 minutes?
5. TV on my phone? Who gives a shit? I want a car that flies and folds into a brief cas
e!
4. It costs $500 AND you have to join Cingular (which is now AT&T. That doesn't make them any better)
3. Commercials every 5 minutes on TV telling me how cool the iPhone is, displacing the awesome Mac/PC commercials
2. There's NO WAY they have all the kinks worked out
1. I DON'T NEED ONE
=========================================================
The more I think about the Sopranos finale, the more I love it.
There are 3 ways it ends in my head:
The half full part of me thinks Tony fixed his family and now they're having an innocent, childhood-like family dinner in a classic Jersey diner.
The half empty part thinks the guy comes out of the bathroom with a gun and whacks the whole family.
The film major part of me thinks David Chase was portraying the closest thing possible to Tony's point of view, making the viewer suspicious of every other person in that restaurant with a clever use of cutaways, close-ups, and benign dialogue and creating palpable tension, then letting the viewer decide for himself.
The genius of it all is that you could very well disagree with me threefold. And I'm fine with that.
=========================================================
By far the best part about Gmail: the smiley faces flip right side up when you type them on Gmail chat. :)
Ask anyone who has Gmail, they'll tell you.
And you say we're the high tech computer-savvy generation....
=========================================================
Ok, this one's important. Working at CNN, I get one of these emails every day:
BAGHDAD (CNN) -- Iraq's Interior Ministry on Thursday said 25 slain,
unidentified bodies were found on the streets of Baghdad Wednesday.
These killings -- which have been a daily occurrence since the first
Al-Askariya Mosque attack in Samarra last year -- are thought to be the result
of the Sunni-Shiite sectarian violence that flared up after that attack.
That Shiite mosque was attacked again on Wednesday.
The slain bodies, found dumped across the capital, are usually bound,
peppered with bullets, and tortured.
There have been 314 such killings in Baghdad this month alone.
Every. Day.
Flag day commemorates the adoption of the US Flag by the Second Continental Congress in 1777. It was proclaimed a holiday by President Woodrow Wilson in 1916, and made National Flag Day by an act of Congress in 1949.
The largest Flag Day Parade in America takes place in (where else?) Troy, NY. This is from the Troy website:
Troy's most enduring event, The Troy Flag Day Parade is now in its 40th
continuous year and is the largest parade in the nation in honor of the American
flag. The 2007 edition of the Troy Flag Day Parade takes place Sunday, June 10th
with a line up of exciting attractions. The Parade steps off at 1:00pm Sunday,
June 10th with many new attractions added to the line-up
No day off for Flag Day? They had to move the parade to Sunday? You're lame, Troy, NY. Have some respect, celebrate on the actual Flag Day.
http://www.troyny.org/visittroy/flagdayparade.html
=========================================================
Here's a few more fusses over matters of little importance...
Top 10 Reasons I won't be getting an iPhone when it comes out on June 29th:
10. I already have a phone.
9. I already have an iPod.
8. That thing is wayyyy too cool for me.
7. I'm secretly hoping it doesn't sell so CNN doesn't feel obligated to report the sales record.
6. Full color screen? movies, music, email, internet and a phone in that little thing? How long does the battery last, 5 minutes?
5. TV on my phone? Who gives a shit? I want a car that flies and folds into a brief cas
e!4. It costs $500 AND you have to join Cingular (which is now AT&T. That doesn't make them any better)
3. Commercials every 5 minutes on TV telling me how cool the iPhone is, displacing the awesome Mac/PC commercials
2. There's NO WAY they have all the kinks worked out
1. I DON'T NEED ONE
=========================================================
The more I think about the Sopranos finale, the more I love it.
There are 3 ways it ends in my head:
The half full part of me thinks Tony fixed his family and now they're having an innocent, childhood-like family dinner in a classic Jersey diner.
The half empty part thinks the guy comes out of the bathroom with a gun and whacks the whole family.
The film major part of me thinks David Chase was portraying the closest thing possible to Tony's point of view, making the viewer suspicious of every other person in that restaurant with a clever use of cutaways, close-ups, and benign dialogue and creating palpable tension, then letting the viewer decide for himself.
The genius of it all is that you could very well disagree with me threefold. And I'm fine with that.
=========================================================
By far the best part about Gmail: the smiley faces flip right side up when you type them on Gmail chat. :)
Ask anyone who has Gmail, they'll tell you.
And you say we're the high tech computer-savvy generation....
=========================================================
Ok, this one's important. Working at CNN, I get one of these emails every day:
BAGHDAD (CNN) -- Iraq's Interior Ministry on Thursday said 25 slain,
unidentified bodies were found on the streets of Baghdad Wednesday.
These killings -- which have been a daily occurrence since the first
Al-Askariya Mosque attack in Samarra last year -- are thought to be the result
of the Sunni-Shiite sectarian violence that flared up after that attack.
That Shiite mosque was attacked again on Wednesday.
The slain bodies, found dumped across the capital, are usually bound,
peppered with bullets, and tortured.
There have been 314 such killings in Baghdad this month alone.
Every. Day.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
FOOFARAW
Here's a few more matters of little importance.
The following is an actual conversation with an apartment owner:
Me: Hi, I'm calling about the apartment on West 69th street.
Owner: Which one?
Me: It says 19 West 69th Street apt 3.
Owner: which one?
Me: What do you mean?
Owner: For how much?
Me: Oh, it says $1475.
Owner: Oh. Actually it's $2500. That's a typo. Sorry.
Me: It's a typo?
Owner: Yes.
Me: That's a pretty big typo.
Owner: Sorry.
Me: Thank you.
HANG UP
Me: Who the hell is typing that? That's not even close.
=========================================================
From this week's Police Blotter in The Princeton Packet:
A West Windsor man called the police to report that his golf clubs and bag had been stolen from his garage sometime between December and April.
(I'm sure the police will get right on that case by Halloween)
=========================================================
Keith Olberman is the king of reporting stories while at the same time clearly showing that he doesn't care at all about them. Any time he talks about Anna Nicole or American Idol it is in an irreverent, clearly disgusted tone, yet he keeps reporting the stories. The journalistic integrity of this is fantastic. It's "I report, I decide, You decide."
I don't care about Anna Nicole one bit, but by watching Keith I know what's going on so that I can participate in a discussion of the issue if I need to for whatever reason, like if my job forces me to do it. At the same time Keith rejects the notion that anyone should care about dumb stories, he acknowledges that people do care, therefore eschewing ignorance.
Good luck untangling that one.
=========================================================
AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:
I want YOU to tell me, if possible, about the most random person you have on Facebook or MySpace and how you think he/she became your friend. Here are my top three:
Geoff Marsh - I think Geoff is a member of the Syracuse University a cappella group Orange Appeal. I think I know what he looks like, but his facebook profile picture right now is just a car. He's a conservative Christian, and I'm pretty certain I've never had an actual conversation with him. But he updates his profile almost daily.
Russell Schneider - I have no idea who this is. He has no picture on his profile. Russell is from Long Island, we have 25 friends in common and they're all my friends from Camp. So it would make sense to say the Russell went to camp. But I don't remember Russell being at camp. He might still be in High School. And he might know who I am, but I certainly have no freaking clue who Russell Schneider is.
BJ Smith - BJ Smith is from Huntsville, Alabama. BJ thinks he was on my Israel trip this past December, but he wasn't. Even so, he remains Facebook friends with me and a number of others from my trip, and he remains a part of our Facebook group "Israel Experts Bus 2" or whatever it's called. To top it all off, he filled in the "friend details" for us (and I accepted) which say "you were in a group together" even though we weren't.
I can only assume you all have similar stories. Post them here!
And that is Foofaraw for today.
The following is an actual conversation with an apartment owner:
Me: Hi, I'm calling about the apartment on West 69th street.
Owner: Which one?
Me: It says 19 West 69th Street apt 3.
Owner: which one?
Me: What do you mean?
Owner: For how much?
Me: Oh, it says $1475.
Owner: Oh. Actually it's $2500. That's a typo. Sorry.
Me: It's a typo?
Owner: Yes.
Me: That's a pretty big typo.
Owner: Sorry.
Me: Thank you.
HANG UP
Me: Who the hell is typing that? That's not even close.
=========================================================
From this week's Police Blotter in The Princeton Packet:
A West Windsor man called the police to report that his golf clubs and bag had been stolen from his garage sometime between December and April.
(I'm sure the police will get right on that case by Halloween)
=========================================================
Keith Olberman is the king of reporting stories while at the same time clearly showing that he doesn't care at all about them. Any time he talks about Anna Nicole or American Idol it is in an irreverent, clearly disgusted tone, yet he keeps reporting the stories. The journalistic integrity of this is fantastic. It's "I report, I decide, You decide."
I don't care about Anna Nicole one bit, but by watching Keith I know what's going on so that I can participate in a discussion of the issue if I need to for whatever reason, like if my job forces me to do it. At the same time Keith rejects the notion that anyone should care about dumb stories, he acknowledges that people do care, therefore eschewing ignorance.
Good luck untangling that one.
=========================================================
AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION:
I want YOU to tell me, if possible, about the most random person you have on Facebook or MySpace and how you think he/she became your friend. Here are my top three:
Geoff Marsh - I think Geoff is a member of the Syracuse University a cappella group Orange Appeal. I think I know what he looks like, but his facebook profile picture right now is just a car. He's a conservative Christian, and I'm pretty certain I've never had an actual conversation with him. But he updates his profile almost daily.
Russell Schneider - I have no idea who this is. He has no picture on his profile. Russell is from Long Island, we have 25 friends in common and they're all my friends from Camp. So it would make sense to say the Russell went to camp. But I don't remember Russell being at camp. He might still be in High School. And he might know who I am, but I certainly have no freaking clue who Russell Schneider is.
BJ Smith - BJ Smith is from Huntsville, Alabama. BJ thinks he was on my Israel trip this past December, but he wasn't. Even so, he remains Facebook friends with me and a number of others from my trip, and he remains a part of our Facebook group "Israel Experts Bus 2" or whatever it's called. To top it all off, he filled in the "friend details" for us (and I accepted) which say "you were in a group together" even though we weren't.
I can only assume you all have similar stories. Post them here!
And that is Foofaraw for today.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
FOOFARAW - Major Foofaraw
I don't know why I was thinking about this today. But you know, sometimes you're staring off into space or not paying attention to anything in particular and a word pops into your head for know apparent reason and you're mind is just off to the races? Maybe it's just me.
I wasn't staring off into space, really, I mean, the TV is on, I'm talking to someone online, but my head was someplace else and in pops the word:
Potato Pancakes.
I don't know. It's not Chanukah or anything, it's not like Chanukah's soon, and it's not like it just happened, but there it was. And I thought about the time Freshman year, it was finals time, and my friends and I, away from home for Chanukah for the first time I guess, decided we needed potato pancakes. Not just needed them, needed to make them. Only we didn't have a car, a kitchen, utensils, or anything really. Except a microwave, and a fridge. You can't make potato pancakes in a microwave.
But we were determined. Somehow we got someone to take us to a grocery store for oil and potatoes and onions and whatever else. We borrowed a pan from the Resident Director. A nice pan, too, good size, heavy, perfect. We got plastic utensils, probably nicked a few things from the dining hall downstairs. Painstakingly, we peeled and grated potatoes (no idea where the grater came from) and onions and mixed it all together using some one's mom's recipe. And it's 2 hours later than we thought and we're getting hungry and by God this is taking a long time.
The batter was ready, time to cook. And still no stove. The dining hall? nope. The RD? Nope. She lent us the pan, but using her kitchen wasn't going to happen. And then we discover, there's a stove in a room in the basement. But the room is locked. We ask our RA. He calls Public Safety to come open the door for the little freshmen, and suddenly, he wants the potato pancakes as badly as we do. He'll even cook them for us, just to be safe, or something. It's like 8:30 now and we started around 6, and Public Safety arrives and opens the door. The room is crowded with extra, mostly broken, dorm furniture. Chairs and sofas piled up. And a stove in the corner, plugged in. Fire it up!
We do, and the oil is sizzling in the pan and we plop down a bit of batter and wait for it to fry. At long last, a potato pancake. The little lump of potato starts to sizzle, and smoke. And smoke. In fact, there's a lot of smoke and it's filling the windowless room. And I look up and see a smoke detector, right above the stove. And I say "hey, we might want to turn this off before we set off the--"
Too late. It's beeping like crazy and in minutes, the building is evacuated. Hundreds of students, studying for finals, pushed outside at night, in Syracuse, in December. And all because the little group of Jews had to have their potato pancake. And then the firemen come, charging into the dorm, into the basement, to the little room with the stove, and the little lump of potato smoking on the stove.
I don't know what made me think of it, but it's a good story. And because I have this blog, it got written, instead of swirling in my head and eventually retreating to the depths of memory and waiting for a more appropriate time to surface.
I wasn't staring off into space, really, I mean, the TV is on, I'm talking to someone online, but my head was someplace else and in pops the word:
Potato Pancakes.
I don't know. It's not Chanukah or anything, it's not like Chanukah's soon, and it's not like it just happened, but there it was. And I thought about the time Freshman year, it was finals time, and my friends and I, away from home for Chanukah for the first time I guess, decided we needed potato pancakes. Not just needed them, needed to make them. Only we didn't have a car, a kitchen, utensils, or anything really. Except a microwave, and a fridge. You can't make potato pancakes in a microwave.
But we were determined. Somehow we got someone to take us to a grocery store for oil and potatoes and onions and whatever else. We borrowed a pan from the Resident Director. A nice pan, too, good size, heavy, perfect. We got plastic utensils, probably nicked a few things from the dining hall downstairs. Painstakingly, we peeled and grated potatoes (no idea where the grater came from) and onions and mixed it all together using some one's mom's recipe. And it's 2 hours later than we thought and we're getting hungry and by God this is taking a long time.
The batter was ready, time to cook. And still no stove. The dining hall? nope. The RD? Nope. She lent us the pan, but using her kitchen wasn't going to happen. And then we discover, there's a stove in a room in the basement. But the room is locked. We ask our RA. He calls Public Safety to come open the door for the little freshmen, and suddenly, he wants the potato pancakes as badly as we do. He'll even cook them for us, just to be safe, or something. It's like 8:30 now and we started around 6, and Public Safety arrives and opens the door. The room is crowded with extra, mostly broken, dorm furniture. Chairs and sofas piled up. And a stove in the corner, plugged in. Fire it up!
We do, and the oil is sizzling in the pan and we plop down a bit of batter and wait for it to fry. At long last, a potato pancake. The little lump of potato starts to sizzle, and smoke. And smoke. In fact, there's a lot of smoke and it's filling the windowless room. And I look up and see a smoke detector, right above the stove. And I say "hey, we might want to turn this off before we set off the--"
Too late. It's beeping like crazy and in minutes, the building is evacuated. Hundreds of students, studying for finals, pushed outside at night, in Syracuse, in December. And all because the little group of Jews had to have their potato pancake. And then the firemen come, charging into the dorm, into the basement, to the little room with the stove, and the little lump of potato smoking on the stove.
I don't know what made me think of it, but it's a good story. And because I have this blog, it got written, instead of swirling in my head and eventually retreating to the depths of memory and waiting for a more appropriate time to surface.
Monday, February 19, 2007
FOOFARAW - President's Day Edition
Today is President's Day. Celebrate!
In honor of George Washington riding to his inauguration on horseback, receive a free pair of underwear with the purchase of $40 or more at Jockey, Woodbury Commons.
John Adams was the first president to use the White House kitchen. Now, get 10% JK Adams pot racks at www.iKitchen.com!
Thomas Jefferson made the Louisiana Purchase. Now, you can make a purchase at the Louisiana Boardwalk President's Day Weekend Sale! http://www.louisianaboardwalk.com/
Improve your constitution in honor of James Madison with $2-off anti-bacterial hand soap from Bath and Body Works! http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=2628098&cp=2484777
Want to read up on the Monroe doctrine? Not in Monroe county, MO. The Library's closed. Sorry.
At 3pm today, in honor of 6th president John Quincy Adams, it will feel like 6 degrees outside in Quincy, MA. At 11am it will feel like 6 degrees in Quincy, MI.
West Wing fans will know that Andrew Jackson kept a 2 ton block of cheese in the main foyer of the White House. In his honor, save up to 65% on cheese graters from ikitchen.com!
Get a new Silverado from Rhodes Chevrolet in Van Buren, Arkansas for Martin Van Buren!
Hopefully, the goldfish you buy today at That Fish Place's Presidents Day Sale won't die in 30 days, like William Henry Harrison. www.thatfishplace.com
Buy one pair of Tyler shoes, get the second pair 25% off in honor of 10th President John Tyler!
http://www.onlineshoes.com/landing.asp?type=brand&brandid=167&fo=drop
James K Polk once visited Portsmouth, NH, and they're way too excited about it 150+ years later: http://seacoastnh.com/Places_&_Events/NH_History/Portsmouth_Pomp_for_President_Polk/
Zachary Taylor actually had a daughter named Ann, born April 9, 1811. In her honor, get up to 70% off at Ann Taylor loft for President's Day! http://www.anntaylorloft.com/atlShowSaleCategory.process?RestartFlow=t&Section_Id=10&hp3
Get a wig at bestwigoutlet.com for Millard Fillmore, the last Whig president.
You can save a lot of dough in honor of "doughface" (a northerner with southern sympathies) President Franklin Pierce.
Nowhere near Rhodes Chevrolet in Van Buren, Arkansas? Instead you can get your Chevy at Wesner Chevrolet in Buchanan, MI.
The theater can be dangerous. Just ask Abraham Lincoln. Avoid the risk, and get up to $200 off a home theater system from Circuit City!
Unlike Andrew Johnson, the deals you'll get at the GM President's Day Sale are unimpeachable! www.gm.com
Harley Davidson is as bad as I am: "Celebrate Presidents’ Day with Green (keeping it in your pocket) instead of Red, White, and Blue. Save a Jackson ($20) off all boots, and take a Grant ($50) off any leather apparel not already on sale." http://www.psnnewsletter.com/newsletters/1754_2005_2_17_10_57_28.html
Do it for Ulysses S.
For Rutherford B. Hayes, why not try the Rutherford County, NC Seniors Presidents' Day Activity at Southern Baptist Church. Call Brenda at 287-7498. 10:45 AM. Oops, missed it.
Garfield the Cat says: have some lasagna for 20th president James A. Garfield! But save some for me.
Chester Allan Arthur says: who am I? I was President of the United States? Really?
In honor of Grover Cleveland, watch an all new episode of "22", tonight on FOX.
Yes, Benjamin Harrison, I'm going to write something for every president, I don't care how long it takes. Deal with it.
I mean, in honor of Grover Cleveland, watch an all new episode of "24", tonight on FOX.
William McKinley was assassinated in Buffalo. Now get up to 50% off ski and snowboard equipment at Raging Buffalo.com http://www.ragingbuffalo.com/presidents_day_sale
For Teddy Roosevelt, get this adorable teddy bear for just $24.95 (regular price $49.95) http://digitalgiftstore.stores.yahoo.net/02370.html
Starting to resemble President William Howard Taft a little too much? Take control of your weight loss with a Weight Watchers precision scale. Presidents Day web special: $49.99 http://www.comforthouse.com/noname1.html
According to www.Babynamewizard.com, Woodrow was the 67th most popular name in America in the 1910s, when Woodrow Wilson was president. Today, the name is not in the top 1000.
Warren G Harding probably wouldn't like the music of Warren G.
Calvin Coolidge didn't talk much.
Don't be depressed! Check out all the Hoovers on sale at http://digitalkitchenstore.stores.yahoo.net/hoovervac.html for President Herbert Hoover.
Want a new deal? How about 4, one for each time FDR was elected. Aeropostale has 'em! http://www.aeropostale.com/home/index.jsp
You might want to watch The Truman Show for our 33rd President, or maybe you'd prefer one of Reel.com's top 10 Presidential movies: http://www.reel.com/reel.asp?node=features/articles/president
Bid on sheet music from Dwight D. Eisenhower's first inauguration! http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290084506143&ih=019&category=33784&rd=1 only $12.99
If you're lucky, your JetBlue flight just might take off today from JFK - but don't count on it.
Get up to 60% at the Disney Store in honor of Goofy-looking President Lyndon Johnson!
If you have Netflix, you get a pardon today http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/070215/dath007.html?.v=87, just like President Nixon got from...
...Gerald Ford, who was mauled by a circus lion in a convenience store...senselessly. (still funny!)
Time for dessert? How about Jimmy Carter's peanut brittle? http://holidays.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/30/Jimmy_Carters_Peanut_Brittle53232.shtml
Bedtime for Bonzo?? Get HUGE deals from Mattress Warehouse for Ronald Reagan! http://www.sleephappens.com/html/buy_online/product_results.cfm?discountID=3
Get up to 40% off a cheesecake from Eli's cheesecake bakery cafe for famous Eli, George Herbert Walker Bush. http://deals.judysbook.com/deal/107691
Alright, pick one: you want McDonald's sales, cigars, saxophones, hookers, what? It's too easy with Bill Clinton.
George W. Bush has only 700 days left in office.
That's almost reason to celebrate.
In honor of George Washington riding to his inauguration on horseback, receive a free pair of underwear with the purchase of $40 or more at Jockey, Woodbury Commons.
John Adams was the first president to use the White House kitchen. Now, get 10% JK Adams pot racks at www.iKitchen.com!
Thomas Jefferson made the Louisiana Purchase. Now, you can make a purchase at the Louisiana Boardwalk President's Day Weekend Sale! http://www.louisianaboardwalk.com/
Improve your constitution in honor of James Madison with $2-off anti-bacterial hand soap from Bath and Body Works! http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=2628098&cp=2484777
Want to read up on the Monroe doctrine? Not in Monroe county, MO. The Library's closed. Sorry.
At 3pm today, in honor of 6th president John Quincy Adams, it will feel like 6 degrees outside in Quincy, MA. At 11am it will feel like 6 degrees in Quincy, MI.
West Wing fans will know that Andrew Jackson kept a 2 ton block of cheese in the main foyer of the White House. In his honor, save up to 65% on cheese graters from ikitchen.com!
Get a new Silverado from Rhodes Chevrolet in Van Buren, Arkansas for Martin Van Buren!
Hopefully, the goldfish you buy today at That Fish Place's Presidents Day Sale won't die in 30 days, like William Henry Harrison. www.thatfishplace.com
Buy one pair of Tyler shoes, get the second pair 25% off in honor of 10th President John Tyler!
http://www.onlineshoes.com/landing.asp?type=brand&brandid=167&fo=drop
James K Polk once visited Portsmouth, NH, and they're way too excited about it 150+ years later: http://seacoastnh.com/Places_&_Events/NH_History/Portsmouth_Pomp_for_President_Polk/
Zachary Taylor actually had a daughter named Ann, born April 9, 1811. In her honor, get up to 70% off at Ann Taylor loft for President's Day! http://www.anntaylorloft.com/atlShowSaleCategory.process?RestartFlow=t&Section_Id=10&hp3
Get a wig at bestwigoutlet.com for Millard Fillmore, the last Whig president.
You can save a lot of dough in honor of "doughface" (a northerner with southern sympathies) President Franklin Pierce.
Nowhere near Rhodes Chevrolet in Van Buren, Arkansas? Instead you can get your Chevy at Wesner Chevrolet in Buchanan, MI.
The theater can be dangerous. Just ask Abraham Lincoln. Avoid the risk, and get up to $200 off a home theater system from Circuit City!
Unlike Andrew Johnson, the deals you'll get at the GM President's Day Sale are unimpeachable! www.gm.com
Harley Davidson is as bad as I am: "Celebrate Presidents’ Day with Green (keeping it in your pocket) instead of Red, White, and Blue. Save a Jackson ($20) off all boots, and take a Grant ($50) off any leather apparel not already on sale." http://www.psnnewsletter.com/newsletters/1754_2005_2_17_10_57_28.html
Do it for Ulysses S.
For Rutherford B. Hayes, why not try the Rutherford County, NC Seniors Presidents' Day Activity at Southern Baptist Church. Call Brenda at 287-7498. 10:45 AM. Oops, missed it.
Garfield the Cat says: have some lasagna for 20th president James A. Garfield! But save some for me.
Chester Allan Arthur says: who am I? I was President of the United States? Really?
In honor of Grover Cleveland, watch an all new episode of "22", tonight on FOX.
Yes, Benjamin Harrison, I'm going to write something for every president, I don't care how long it takes. Deal with it.
I mean, in honor of Grover Cleveland, watch an all new episode of "24", tonight on FOX.
William McKinley was assassinated in Buffalo. Now get up to 50% off ski and snowboard equipment at Raging Buffalo.com http://www.ragingbuffalo.com/presidents_day_sale
For Teddy Roosevelt, get this adorable teddy bear for just $24.95 (regular price $49.95) http://digitalgiftstore.stores.yahoo.net/02370.html
Starting to resemble President William Howard Taft a little too much? Take control of your weight loss with a Weight Watchers precision scale. Presidents Day web special: $49.99 http://www.comforthouse.com/noname1.html
According to www.Babynamewizard.com, Woodrow was the 67th most popular name in America in the 1910s, when Woodrow Wilson was president. Today, the name is not in the top 1000.
Warren G Harding probably wouldn't like the music of Warren G.
Calvin Coolidge didn't talk much.
Don't be depressed! Check out all the Hoovers on sale at http://digitalkitchenstore.stores.yahoo.net/hoovervac.html for President Herbert Hoover.
Want a new deal? How about 4, one for each time FDR was elected. Aeropostale has 'em! http://www.aeropostale.com/home/index.jsp
You might want to watch The Truman Show for our 33rd President, or maybe you'd prefer one of Reel.com's top 10 Presidential movies: http://www.reel.com/reel.asp?node=features/articles/president
Bid on sheet music from Dwight D. Eisenhower's first inauguration! http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290084506143&ih=019&category=33784&rd=1 only $12.99
If you're lucky, your JetBlue flight just might take off today from JFK - but don't count on it.
Get up to 60% at the Disney Store in honor of Goofy-looking President Lyndon Johnson!
If you have Netflix, you get a pardon today http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/070215/dath007.html?.v=87, just like President Nixon got from...
...Gerald Ford, who was mauled by a circus lion in a convenience store...senselessly. (still funny!)
Time for dessert? How about Jimmy Carter's peanut brittle? http://holidays.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/30/Jimmy_Carters_Peanut_Brittle53232.shtml
Bedtime for Bonzo?? Get HUGE deals from Mattress Warehouse for Ronald Reagan! http://www.sleephappens.com/html/buy_online/product_results.cfm?discountID=3
Get up to 40% off a cheesecake from Eli's cheesecake bakery cafe for famous Eli, George Herbert Walker Bush. http://deals.judysbook.com/deal/107691
Alright, pick one: you want McDonald's sales, cigars, saxophones, hookers, what? It's too easy with Bill Clinton.
George W. Bush has only 700 days left in office.
That's almost reason to celebrate.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
FOOFARAW - major fusses over items of little importance
NEW FEATURE!
I was going to change the name of "The Full Circle" altogether, but it's kind of a pain. And I like the name a lot. But the new name was going to be:
Foofaraw. A word which means "a fuss over a matter of little importance." I thought it was a good name for what I'm doing here, especially if you've read either of the adventures of Late Night Supermarket Man (there will be more, I promise)
Instead of a name change, I present to you, my 58 loyal readers, a new feature called Foofaraw, in which I discuss random trifles every now and then. In other words, I'm Andy Rooney. Here is the first installment of Foofaraw:
Instead of sending us another horrible reality TV show (latest example: NBC's You're the One that I Want. Barf) The UK should send over a group of people to show New Yorkers how to ride an escalator.
In london it's almost a law - stand right, walk left. We need that here. I, unlike you fat, lazy schmucks, like to walk down a down escalator, but I can't do it if your fat ass is standing in the way, so stand on the right side and leave the left side for me!
=========================================================
Mr. Met braved subzero temperatures to help the Mets clubhouse staff pack up the moving truck for Spring Training.
Why??
More importantly, why did somebody think I needed to know this?
Are they playing yet?
http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070205&content_id=1794654&vkey=news_nym&fext=.jsp&c_id=nym
=========================================================
New evidence suggests that Jeffrey Dahmer may have killed Adam Walsh, the 6 year old son of America's Most Wanted host John Walsh, back in 1981. When asked about the incident, Dahmer said: "You expect me to remember what I had for dinner 25 years ago? I don't remember what I had for breakfast this morning!"
Come on, you were all thinking it.
I was going to change the name of "The Full Circle" altogether, but it's kind of a pain. And I like the name a lot. But the new name was going to be:
Foofaraw. A word which means "a fuss over a matter of little importance." I thought it was a good name for what I'm doing here, especially if you've read either of the adventures of Late Night Supermarket Man (there will be more, I promise)
Instead of a name change, I present to you, my 58 loyal readers, a new feature called Foofaraw, in which I discuss random trifles every now and then. In other words, I'm Andy Rooney. Here is the first installment of Foofaraw:
Instead of sending us another horrible reality TV show (latest example: NBC's You're the One that I Want. Barf) The UK should send over a group of people to show New Yorkers how to ride an escalator.
In london it's almost a law - stand right, walk left. We need that here. I, unlike you fat, lazy schmucks, like to walk down a down escalator, but I can't do it if your fat ass is standing in the way, so stand on the right side and leave the left side for me!
=========================================================
Mr. Met braved subzero temperatures to help the Mets clubhouse staff pack up the moving truck for Spring Training.
Why??
More importantly, why did somebody think I needed to know this?
Are they playing yet?
http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070205&content_id=1794654&vkey=news_nym&fext=.jsp&c_id=nym
=========================================================
New evidence suggests that Jeffrey Dahmer may have killed Adam Walsh, the 6 year old son of America's Most Wanted host John Walsh, back in 1981. When asked about the incident, Dahmer said: "You expect me to remember what I had for dinner 25 years ago? I don't remember what I had for breakfast this morning!"
Come on, you were all thinking it.
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