Me-decade mischief OR Trivia Killed the Radio Star

When we last left our heroes...

BOGO: That was like 3 weeks ago!

JB: We've been
playing this game for three weeks.

BOGO: And Late Night Supermarket man
disappeared.

He hasn't disappeared. He's upstairs.

JB: I told him not to go upstairs.

Anyway, when we last left our heroes...

BOGO: The author forgot about us.

He didn't forget about you, he probably had other things to do.

BOGO: Like what? He left us here for 3 weeks!

JB:
How much Totally 80s can one play? And I still don't have my software.

We're getting to that. Anyway, when we last left our heroes...

BOGO: Three weeks ago, while the author ignored us...

Hey, don't knock the author.

BOGO: Why not? Author dumpster barbecue Spaniard
terrestrianatodiggidybumpy.

JB: What?

I told you.

BOGO: doodle intestified fidgety pottsdam circulation
obstetrics?

JB: What's going on?

She knocked the author.

JB: Well maybe he deserves it.

Careful now.

JB: Right

Anyway, when we last left our heroes...

JB: Can I catch them up, if that's ok with the author.

Apparently it is.

JB: All right, what's his name--

BOGO: Late
Night Supermarket Man

JB: Right. He's upstairs and he got lost or
something, and we've been playing Trivial Pursuit, and She's winning.

BOGO: I always win.

JB: And if she wins she gets to keep the
software, and if I win, I get the software. And the game has been taking a long
time.

BOGO: And I'm winning.

JB: I can't believe you're still
winning.

BOGO: Why not?

JB: You pissed off the author.

BOGO: Only temporarily. You threatened to sue him for libel.

JB:
How did you know that?

BOGO: Know what?

JB: Stop it.

BOGO: Can't help it. He speaks through me if he wants. I don't know
where this is coming from.

JB: This is too weird for me. Any chance you
could wrap this up and get me out of it?

BOGO: You might not like the outcome.

JB: Why not?

BOGO: Well, we're the heroes. And we can't find the
software, so there has to be some other way we get out of this. And I don't
think it involves you getting your software.

And on that, BOGOGirl was right. JB's request to wrap it up quick resulted in the following developments. BOGOGirl collected her final piece of the pie with an answer of "Perestroika" and defeated JB (who is probably going to sue for libel). Then BOGOGirl shouted:

BOGO: You lose! I win the software!

Which Late Night Supermarket Man heard, and came bounding down the stairs.

LNSM: There is no software! And you were right, don't
go up to the second floor.

JB pounded his fist on the ground

BOGO: Told you you weren't gonna like it.

As our heroes, somehow mildly successful, hightailed it back to the North Carolina airport for a flight home. The End.

Stay tuned to The Full Circle for the next somewhat entertaining adventure of Late Night Supermarket Man and BOGOGirl!

Carolina in my Mind OR Talk about a Trivial Pursuit

When we left our heroes, they had gotten into the checkout line at Super Walmart in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, when suddenly they saw the woman in line in front of them ringing up an assortment of groceries, a book of Sudoku puzzles, a pair of children's sneakers, a tempur-pedic pillow, and a fuzzy bath mat. Which caused Late Night Supermarket Man to exclaim:

LNSM: We'll never make it!

But make it for what, you ask?

LNSM: We have to get the software to the radio house!

BOGO: But we don't
even have the software!

BogoGirl was right. The software was nowhere to be found. All they had was a six pack of beer and a pair of Trivial Pursuit Totally 80s Editions.

BOGO: Two for one.

Naturally.

BOGO: Oh cool! Look Late Night Supermarket Man, it says here you can download
episodes of Totally 80s from the website for free with proof of purchase!

LNSM: What was that?

BOGO: For free with proof of purchase!

LNSM: No, the other part.

BOGO: What other part?

LNSM:
That's it!

BOGO: That's what?

LNSM: We can DOWNLOAD the software
when we get to the radio house, and you can distract JB with the Totally 80s
Trivial Pursuit game.

BOGO: How do I do that?

LNSM: You PLAY the
game! He's a sucker for games.

BOGO: If you say so. Should I give him
beer?

LNSM: Couldn't hurt.

Amazingly, our heroes had a plan.

LNSM: Now if we could only pay and get out of here. Lady, what in the world
compelled you to go out and buy a tempur-pedic pillow at 11 o'clock at night?!

The lady did not look amused.

LNSM: Sorry, my fault. I'm a northerner.

Finally, our heroes were able to pay for their beer and Trivial Pursuit, now essential to their mission, and they took off for the Radio House.

BOGO: THIS is the Radio House? It's so small.

LNSM: Just knock on the
door.

They knocked on the door. They were greeted by the mysterious JB. Who for some reason loved to speak in third person.

JB: Ah, yes, come in, come in. Do you have the software.

BOGO: We've got
beer!

JB: JB doesn't want beer. JB has prescription medication he
shouldn't mix with alcohol. Grandpa Shelly said you would have the software.

Just then, in an attempt to sneak by and find a place to download the software, Late Night Supermarket Man started for the stairs.

JB: Don't go up there!

LNSM: Why not?

JB: You don't want to
know.

LNSM: Isn't it just more of the same?

JB: It might be. But
it's not.

LNSM: I don't get it.

JB: Just stay away from the
second floor!

BOGO: Hey, JB, wanna play Trivial Pursuit Totally 80s?

JB: Not now, JB needs the...Did you say Trivial Pursuit?

BOGO:
Totally 80s edition.

JB: JB is Awesome at that game?

BOGO:
Really? Care to make it interesting?

JB: You're on!

BogoGirl took the game out of the box, and Late Night Supermarket Man sneaked off to download the software. Will he be successful? Will JB win the game? Will any of this matter?

Find out next time on: "Me-decade mischief" OR "Trivia Killed the Radio Star"

Leavin' on a Laserjet Plane OR Ketchup if you can

We rejoin Late Night Supermarket Man and BOGO girl at Philadelphia International Airport. Late Night Supermarket Man is re-reading the mission that Grandpa Shelly printed out for them.

LNSM: "You must find the software and deliver it to the Radio House."

BOGO: What do you think it means?

LNSM: I think it means we must
find the software.

BOGO: What software?

LNSM: You don't know.

BOGO: I don't know?

LNSM: No, You don't know.

BOGO: Who?

LNSM: The software, it's called You don't know.

BOGO: What's it
do?

LNSM: I don't know. But we have to find it.

BOGO: Where?

LNSM: Well, I think it's in North Carolina.

BOGO: Why do you
think that?

LNSM: Because Grandpa Shelly booked us two tickets to North
Carolina.

BOGO: Where do we go when we get there?

LNSM: To find
the software and bring it to the Radio House.

BOGO: But where--

LNSM: Enough questions, Bogo, let me think. I have to think.

BOGO: You can do it, Late Night Supermarket Man.

LNSM: That's
it!

Alright, so a lot of other stuff happened to our heroes. But six hours later they got to the North Carolina airport and found a taxi. And After that they arrived at--

BOGO: Super Walmart! Of Course! You're a genius, Late Night Supermarket Man!

LNSM: Thank you. Now what time is it?

BOGO: It's 11:30.

LNSM: Perfect! Let's go. Late Night Supermarket Man to the rescue!

Meanwhile, at the Radio House, JB was on the phone with Grandpa Shelly.

JB: I need that software, Grandpa Shelly.

GS: You asked for my services,
you need to be patient. It's 11:30, this is when they work best.

JB: Who
is this Late Night Supermarket Man anyway?

GS: That's not your concern.
But be patient, you'll have your software. He may be a little strange, but he
hasn't...completely...failed me...um...in a long time.

In case you started to wonder, yes: this is the best we could do for a plot. Meanwhile, back at the Super Walmart, the employees were rearranging shelves and making a lot of noise.

LNSM: How are we supposed to find the software with all this noise?

BOGO: Oooh, two for one on Trivial Pursuit Totally 80s Edition.

LNSM: Why would you need two?

BOGO: Because it's two for one!

LNSM: Alright, put it back. Listen, I don't see the software anywhere. Are
you sure we can't download it?

BOGO: What does the note say?

LNSM: It doesn't.

BOGO: What are we gonna do?

LNSM: Well, we could do what we always do.

Just then, Late Night Supermarket Man realized this is the first mission anyone is hearing about, so nobody knows what they always do.

LNSM: Well, tell them, then. That's not my problem!

What Late Night Supermarket Man always does is purchase a few items from the store to offer as an alternative. It's not a very good strategy but he manages to stumble on the solution later.

LNSM: Hey, nobody asked you to editorialize.

Ahem. Sorry. Go on, get on with it.

LNSM: Bogo, take the Totally 80s.

BOGO: Two?

LNSM: May as well. It is two for one.

As they approached the checkout, our heroes picked up a large plastic ball and a six pack of Sam Adams Light. And then they saw it.

LNSM: A line?

BOGO: And look what she's buying!

LNSM: We'll never make it!

Or Will They???

Find out next time on....

"Carolina in my Mind" OR "Talk about a Trivial Pursuit"

Heinz 57 Anxieties or Fry Me to the Moon

Continued from "The Adventures of Late Night Supermarket Man and BogoGirl Part 1:

We left our heroes in the checkout line of Super Fresh on a, well let's call it a Friday night, yeah. Late one Friday night. BogoGirl was preparing to purchase Store brand crinkle cut fries.

BOGO: Two for one!

Yes. Two for one. And Late Night Supermarket Man was trying to assess the Ketchup situation.

LNSM: I think we have enough.

BOGO: Or do we?

LNSM: No, I think we do.

BOGO: Should we
get more, just in case? It's very important. It's of the UP Most importance.

LNSM: What did you say?

BOGO: I said it's of the UP Most
importance?

LNSM: With a P?

BOGO: It's of the UP Most
importance.

LNSM: The UTT-Most importance?

BOGO: What?

LNSM: It's UT-Most, not Up Most.

BOGO: It is?

Meanwhile, a line began to form behind our heroes as they argued the idiom. Let's fast forward.

FAST FORWARD

We rejoin our heroes after a brief fast-forwarding back at their hideout where indeed, there WAS NOT enough Ketchup.

BOGO: I told you.

LNSM: You did?

BOGO: I don't remember. Scroll
up.

Just then, the phone rang.

LNSM: It's the Special Phone!

Yeah, that's the best we could do. The Special Phone. Deal with it. It was ringing.

LNSM: It's Grandpa Shelly.

BOGO: Maybe he has a mission for us.

LNSM: Will you let me answer it!

Just then, Late Night Supermarket Man, answered the phone.

LNSM: Was that necessary?

Just answer it.

LNSM: Hello?

GS: Late Night Supermarket Man, I have a mission for you.

LNSM:
What is it, Grandpa Shelly?

GS: I can't tell you over the phone. It's
not safe. I've got the mission right here on my computer. I'll print it out for
you.

LNSM: You do understand, Grandpa Shelly, that by not revealing the
mission over the phone, you are continuing to avoid a plot?

GS: All in
good time, Late Night Supermarket Man, all in good time.

LNSM: But when?

Will Grandpa Shelly print out the mission? Will there ever be a plot? What happened to the crinkle cut fries? Find out next time on...

"Leavin' on a Laserjet Plane" OR "Ketchup if you can"

The Adventures of Late Night Supermarket Man and BogoGirl - Part 1

We meet our, um, heroes, as they embark on a late night mission to Super Fresh, which is the name of a supermarket, ironically suited for a pair of would-be superheroes.

Bogo: You see, it's because the name is Super Fresh, and we're super
heroes. And we're in a super market.

LNSM: I think they get it.

Bogo: But everything is Super!

We get it. That's Bogogirl, Late Night Supermarket Man's trusty and obligatory sidekick.

LNSM: She's a pain in the ass, really.

Bogo: Look, Late Night
Supermarket man, Crinkle cut fries! Store brand crinkle cut fries! Two for one!

LNSM: Don't those take too long to make?

Bogo: No, you just
preheat to 450, spread them out on a tray, put em in the oven, and 20 minutes
later you've got crispy, delicious--

LNSM: Stop reading the
package.

Bogogirl loved to read the packages. Late night Supermarket Man never reads the packages.

LNSM: A real hero doesn't need instructions. Put them back, Bogo. This mission
calls for--wait, what is our mission?

What our heroes don't know is that there is no mission today. Only exposition.

Bogogirl: I don't know. I'm just a silly awkward girl with glasses, who
can't resist a bargain.

LNSM: Subtle.

Bogogirl: And I have a middle child complex.

LNSM: I'm from New Jersey.

Bogogirl: That about says it all, doesn't it?

LNSM: It serves as a basic explanation. There's more to come.

Bogogirl: So can we get the crinkle cut fries. Store brand two for
one?

LNSM: You're going to buy them no matter what, aren't you?

Bogogirl: I'm not a very good sidekick in that way. Two for one! Come on!

Just then, the noble narrator began to wonder if anyone out there would find these adventures to be anything more than a colossal waste of time.

LNSM: Get the damn french fries. Do we have enough ketchup back at
the hideout?

Bogogirl: I...Don't...Know...

Dun Dun Dun!

Will Bogogirl get the Crinkle cut fries? Will there be enough ketchup at home? Will anyone want to find out? Find out next time on...

"Heinz 57 Anxieties" OR "Fry Me to the Moon"