I've heard this twice now, and I gotta say I have a problem with this particular bit of advice.
First it was a central theme in an episode of Gray's Anatomy in which George kept calling Torres a pig. Funny stuff (notreallyIhopethatshowgetsgoodagainnextseasoncauseitwasprettybadtowardtheendofthisone...)
and then I heard that Brian Billick (head coach of the Baltimore Ravens) used it in a graduation speech. Does that mean Brian Billick watches Gray's? With his players? Does Ray Lewis cry when he watches Gray's Anatomy? These are questions for another time. Anyway, the advice Billick steals from Gray's and gives to graduates is this:
"In a bacon and eggs breakfast, the chicken is involved, but the pig is committed. Be that pig."
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!
In a bacon and eggs breakfast, the chicken is involved, but the pig is DEAD! Dead, skinned, quartered, sliced into strips and fried in scalding oil! The chicken, meanwhile, laid an egg, got up and went across the street for Starbucks. And lived, to contribute to yet another breakfast.
Don't take this the wrong way (ladies...) I'm not afraid of commitment in the slightest, but in this scenario, I think, given a choice, I'll be the chicken.
Showing posts with label Language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Language. Show all posts
Monday, June 4, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Story of the Week -- April 23-27
Anatomy of a Day Off
I'm a little off. It's Tuesday now, and I'm back at work after 5 days off (7 if you include the weekend.) It's the longest stretch of days off I've had since I was in Israel. If you remember, I got home from that trip and proceeded to report everything I did. I'll spare you that this time. For the most part.
Because I was away, and because not much was going on, and because I'm tired of writing about horrible tragedies, I didn't really have a good story of the week. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's all part of my Friday.
Though Friday is my fourth day off in a row, it's the first of the four that I plan to spend almost entirely at home. The other days I've been busy apartment searching, going to Met games or otherwise gallivanting in the city. But today is a full day off.
I wake up around 10, because I was out kind of late Thursday night in the city. I got home around 10:30 or so and then had to catch up on Grey's Anatomy. With May sweeps on the horizon, Grey's is becoming more like a daytime soap opera every day.
Speaking of daytime soap operas.....just kidding. Didn't watch any of those. I was up in time for The Price is Right, though. A day off favorite. It used to be you had to have a fever over 100 to be able to watch the Price is Right on a school day. Now you just need a spotty, inconsistent freelance job. With any luck, however, the end of my days as a freelancer will coincide with the end of old ladies kissing Bob Barker. This is Bob's last year on The Price is Right, truly the end of an era. Good of him to hang around long enough to break Richard Dawson's record, though.
Because I can't do just one thing at a time, I've also got my hands on the Friday New York Times Crossword, and a cup of coffee. This week's Friday puzzle is challenging but not impossible. I've gotten better and better at Fridays, mastering the art of staring at blank spaces long enough until something suddenly clicks. Also the art of turning an errant "H" into a correct "N" and other such alphabetical acrobatics.
Satisfied with 3/4 of the puzzle done, I moved on to phase 2 of the day - catching up on Sopranos and Entourage. Then I tried to write a blog about the whole Curt Schilling Bloody Sock story. In case you haven't heard, announcer Gary Thorne said Sox catcher Doug Mirabelli told him the sock that Curt Schilling wore and bloodied to pitch game 6 of the 2004 ALCS was really painted. I was going to examine why Red Sox fans are so protective of the legends behind their World Series win that year, and can't be satisfied and let the games speak for themselves. In other words, who cares? I clearly didn't care enough. So I stopped writing it and moved on to other things.
Like an hour or so of grading SAT Essays online for The Princeton Review (at a $1 each, at least I could feel like I was making a little money on the off day). These are 25-minute timed essays and are riddled with grammatical, spelling and fact errors, and the worst part of it all is I can't penalize these kids for any of them. And I don't understand why high school juniors don't know the difference between a play and a novel. Hamlet is not a novel. It's a play. And just because you read it out of a book doesn't make it a novel either. Novel is not another word for book. Also, The Raven is a poem (not a novel, not a short story), Nelson Mandela is not an African American, and that thing they hold in a courtroom is a T-R-I-A-L, not a TRAIL.
Rant over. It was 2pm, time for a shower, lunch and a trip to Walmart, Best Buy, and Sam's Club, the veritable triumvirate of consumer excess, to stock up on everything from shampoo to nuts. And bottled water. Etc. Next came a visit to Concordia to fix a light bulb and a cabinet hinge for my grandparents (and to drop off some of the nuts) and a quick stop for beer en route to my final destination - HD baseball, beer and Chinese food. The ultimate in lazy Friday evenings alone.
And before you know it it's time for bed.
What's that? You want your story of the week back? I'm working this Friday, I'll get you your story.
I'm a little off. It's Tuesday now, and I'm back at work after 5 days off (7 if you include the weekend.) It's the longest stretch of days off I've had since I was in Israel. If you remember, I got home from that trip and proceeded to report everything I did. I'll spare you that this time. For the most part.
Because I was away, and because not much was going on, and because I'm tired of writing about horrible tragedies, I didn't really have a good story of the week. But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's all part of my Friday.
Though Friday is my fourth day off in a row, it's the first of the four that I plan to spend almost entirely at home. The other days I've been busy apartment searching, going to Met games or otherwise gallivanting in the city. But today is a full day off.
I wake up around 10, because I was out kind of late Thursday night in the city. I got home around 10:30 or so and then had to catch up on Grey's Anatomy. With May sweeps on the horizon, Grey's is becoming more like a daytime soap opera every day.
Speaking of daytime soap operas.....just kidding. Didn't watch any of those. I was up in time for The Price is Right, though. A day off favorite. It used to be you had to have a fever over 100 to be able to watch the Price is Right on a school day. Now you just need a spotty, inconsistent freelance job. With any luck, however, the end of my days as a freelancer will coincide with the end of old ladies kissing Bob Barker. This is Bob's last year on The Price is Right, truly the end of an era. Good of him to hang around long enough to break Richard Dawson's record, though.
Because I can't do just one thing at a time, I've also got my hands on the Friday New York Times Crossword, and a cup of coffee. This week's Friday puzzle is challenging but not impossible. I've gotten better and better at Fridays, mastering the art of staring at blank spaces long enough until something suddenly clicks. Also the art of turning an errant "H" into a correct "N" and other such alphabetical acrobatics.
Satisfied with 3/4 of the puzzle done, I moved on to phase 2 of the day - catching up on Sopranos and Entourage. Then I tried to write a blog about the whole Curt Schilling Bloody Sock story. In case you haven't heard, announcer Gary Thorne said Sox catcher Doug Mirabelli told him the sock that Curt Schilling wore and bloodied to pitch game 6 of the 2004 ALCS was really painted. I was going to examine why Red Sox fans are so protective of the legends behind their World Series win that year, and can't be satisfied and let the games speak for themselves. In other words, who cares? I clearly didn't care enough. So I stopped writing it and moved on to other things.
Like an hour or so of grading SAT Essays online for The Princeton Review (at a $1 each, at least I could feel like I was making a little money on the off day). These are 25-minute timed essays and are riddled with grammatical, spelling and fact errors, and the worst part of it all is I can't penalize these kids for any of them. And I don't understand why high school juniors don't know the difference between a play and a novel. Hamlet is not a novel. It's a play. And just because you read it out of a book doesn't make it a novel either. Novel is not another word for book. Also, The Raven is a poem (not a novel, not a short story), Nelson Mandela is not an African American, and that thing they hold in a courtroom is a T-R-I-A-L, not a TRAIL.
Rant over. It was 2pm, time for a shower, lunch and a trip to Walmart, Best Buy, and Sam's Club, the veritable triumvirate of consumer excess, to stock up on everything from shampoo to nuts. And bottled water. Etc. Next came a visit to Concordia to fix a light bulb and a cabinet hinge for my grandparents (and to drop off some of the nuts) and a quick stop for beer en route to my final destination - HD baseball, beer and Chinese food. The ultimate in lazy Friday evenings alone.
And before you know it it's time for bed.
What's that? You want your story of the week back? I'm working this Friday, I'll get you your story.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Story of the Week - Feb 12-16
Kids These Days
Rmbr, im the TMOY. So r u. Y? Cause, among other things and reasons and such, we've invented a language. Cmg of age in the hi-tech world of IMing and TXTing, r lang is ubiquitous. Jst think about how mainstream our word "24/7" has become. I mean the President uses it. k, bad ex. K, how bout how we say "BTW" out loud even though "by the way" has many fewer syllables. (B t dubs, we took care of that)
Teachers are noticing r lang seeping in2 student classwrk in all grades. Kids used 2 wrtng txts and IMing r accidentally adding "b4" and "2" and "ur" to their essays in addn to the usual errors. LOL. Most teachers r like, wtf? y r they doing this?
thx, Mr. Warlick, for embrcng r new lang. The art. continues 2 say tht most students toss out the IM speak as they get older. Hey, if we know enough 2 make up a language, don't u think we know when it's appropriate and when it's not?
Perhaps, R new language has had the most profound fx on r relationships. w v-day this wk, inevitable human interest v-day themed stories flooded the newsrm about the many ways in which txting and IMing has changed the way we kids date, fall in love, and break up. Even, how we say "I Love You" (ILY, 143)
Btw, G'ma and G'pa, this may help you: http://www.netsmartz411.com/CAisd/pdmweb.exe
The way that HS kids communicate w their bfs and gfs has changed dramatically. Most kids have computers, most kids have cell phones w txt msgs. When I was in ms and hs, the comp was shared, the aol time was ltd and the cell phone was the thing I borrowed fm mom when i wnt out. Sometimes. And so, my relationships were ltd to a nghtly phone call and some IMing.
Today, kids can be in contact 24/7 w their bfs and gfs. They can carry out convos behind their parents backs, or even, in front of their faces. Ex:
BF: Sup
GF: nm, u?
BF: nm
GF: cool cool lol
BF: I luv it when we make out in the hallway.
GF: OMG, I know!
BF: P911 ttyl
GF: k
BF: K, thr gone.
See what I did there was warn my gf that my folks were coming and exed out my hot convo about makin out in the hall and waited till they went away. Cuz i'm clever lk tht and they'll never find out. NEway, kids these days luv the IMspeak.
FTMP, it's good, 2. w new tech, we lrnd how to com. efficiently and in r own way and we got real good at it. And we revolutionized communications and language. We r the IM/TXT gen. and we have constructed an entire social wrld 4 r selves. Of course, there r consequences, esp in hs.
A recent survey by Teenage Research Unlimited showed that 25% of teens communicated hourly with his/her bf/gf by cell or txt btwn the hrs of midnght and 5am. 1 in 3 of teens who had been in a relationship said their partner txted them 10, 20 or 30 times per hr. often to find out where he/she was.
Shaina Weisbrot, now a soph at Rutgers, used to be one such teen. The txting from her fmr bf got so abusive tht she stopped responding. we're tlking 20-30 txts per hr askg where she was, wht she was doing, who she was with, etc. and when she stopped responding, the bf threatened to kill her. And all of this happened w/o her parents knowing.
"The technology sets up the opportunity for constant stalking, for constant communication, for constant intimidation and threatening behavior, " says psychologist Dr. Jill Murray "So we're seeing an increase in teen dating abuse and I believe that this is a good part of it."
http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/parenting/02/09/dating.abuse/index.html
But it seems the same tech can be used to get out of abusive relationships, as well as all other relationships that have run their course. 11% of Americans think breaking up with a bf or gf via txt message or IM or email is ok.
After 1 or 2 dates, maybe. U could send out a quick "its not u, its me :( " or "we shld jst b friends. kit!" or the classic: "we shld c other ppl." Done, painless, no risk of shouting or seeing her cry or getting sucked back in2 a relationship ur not interested in.
But a long term relationship? Have the guts to do it f2f. This practice isn't confined to hs kids, btw. 25 yr old Jason Sherman of Independence, MO is a habitual IM breaker upper. (Hint: Girls, don't date this guy.)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/12/AR2007021201139.html?nav=hcmodule
We luv r new language, but there hafta b boundaries. An occasional 143 ;) is sweet. 20 per hr is stalkerish. Breaking up f2f is hard, but if ur saying "ILY", u can't txt "its over." And r new lang clrly has no place in good writing. Leave it in IM and Txts where it belongs. K?
TTYL!
Rmbr, im the TMOY. So r u. Y? Cause, among other things and reasons and such, we've invented a language. Cmg of age in the hi-tech world of IMing and TXTing, r lang is ubiquitous. Jst think about how mainstream our word "24/7" has become. I mean the President uses it. k, bad ex. K, how bout how we say "BTW" out loud even though "by the way" has many fewer syllables. (B t dubs, we took care of that)
Teachers are noticing r lang seeping in2 student classwrk in all grades. Kids used 2 wrtng txts and IMing r accidentally adding "b4" and "2" and "ur" to their essays in addn to the usual errors. LOL. Most teachers r like, wtf? y r they doing this?
"Some educators, like David Warlick, 54, of Raleigh, North Carolina, seehttp://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/02/09/chat.lingo.ap/index.html
the young burgeoning band of instant messengers as a phenomenon that should be
celebrated. Teachers should credit their students with inventing a new language
ideal for communicating in a high-tech world
Text language seeping into kids' essays."
thx, Mr. Warlick, for embrcng r new lang. The art. continues 2 say tht most students toss out the IM speak as they get older. Hey, if we know enough 2 make up a language, don't u think we know when it's appropriate and when it's not?
Perhaps, R new language has had the most profound fx on r relationships. w v-day this wk, inevitable human interest v-day themed stories flooded the newsrm about the many ways in which txting and IMing has changed the way we kids date, fall in love, and break up. Even, how we say "I Love You" (ILY, 143)
Btw, G'ma and G'pa, this may help you: http://www.netsmartz411.com/CAisd/pdmweb.exe
The way that HS kids communicate w their bfs and gfs has changed dramatically. Most kids have computers, most kids have cell phones w txt msgs. When I was in ms and hs, the comp was shared, the aol time was ltd and the cell phone was the thing I borrowed fm mom when i wnt out. Sometimes. And so, my relationships were ltd to a nghtly phone call and some IMing.
Today, kids can be in contact 24/7 w their bfs and gfs. They can carry out convos behind their parents backs, or even, in front of their faces. Ex:
BF: Sup
GF: nm, u?
BF: nm
GF: cool cool lol
BF: I luv it when we make out in the hallway.
GF: OMG, I know!
BF: P911 ttyl
GF: k
BF: K, thr gone.
See what I did there was warn my gf that my folks were coming and exed out my hot convo about makin out in the hall and waited till they went away. Cuz i'm clever lk tht and they'll never find out. NEway, kids these days luv the IMspeak.
FTMP, it's good, 2. w new tech, we lrnd how to com. efficiently and in r own way and we got real good at it. And we revolutionized communications and language. We r the IM/TXT gen. and we have constructed an entire social wrld 4 r selves. Of course, there r consequences, esp in hs.
A recent survey by Teenage Research Unlimited showed that 25% of teens communicated hourly with his/her bf/gf by cell or txt btwn the hrs of midnght and 5am. 1 in 3 of teens who had been in a relationship said their partner txted them 10, 20 or 30 times per hr. often to find out where he/she was.
Shaina Weisbrot, now a soph at Rutgers, used to be one such teen. The txting from her fmr bf got so abusive tht she stopped responding. we're tlking 20-30 txts per hr askg where she was, wht she was doing, who she was with, etc. and when she stopped responding, the bf threatened to kill her. And all of this happened w/o her parents knowing.
"The technology sets up the opportunity for constant stalking, for constant communication, for constant intimidation and threatening behavior, " says psychologist Dr. Jill Murray "So we're seeing an increase in teen dating abuse and I believe that this is a good part of it."
http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/parenting/02/09/dating.abuse/index.html
But it seems the same tech can be used to get out of abusive relationships, as well as all other relationships that have run their course. 11% of Americans think breaking up with a bf or gf via txt message or IM or email is ok.
After 1 or 2 dates, maybe. U could send out a quick "its not u, its me :( " or "we shld jst b friends. kit!" or the classic: "we shld c other ppl." Done, painless, no risk of shouting or seeing her cry or getting sucked back in2 a relationship ur not interested in.
But a long term relationship? Have the guts to do it f2f. This practice isn't confined to hs kids, btw. 25 yr old Jason Sherman of Independence, MO is a habitual IM breaker upper. (Hint: Girls, don't date this guy.)
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/12/AR2007021201139.html?nav=hcmodule
We luv r new language, but there hafta b boundaries. An occasional 143 ;) is sweet. 20 per hr is stalkerish. Breaking up f2f is hard, but if ur saying "ILY", u can't txt "its over." And r new lang clrly has no place in good writing. Leave it in IM and Txts where it belongs. K?
TTYL!
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