Friday, January 18, 2008

Story of the Week - Jan. 14-18

Things That Need to Stop

We need to stop talking about Britney Spears. She's speaking in a British accent now? She didn't show up at the hearing to fight for her kids? She's in and out of a mental institution? None of this is surprising, all of this is sad, and stop forcing me to give a crap.

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The New York Post needs to stop doing things like this:


This is Lynsey Nordstrom (and yes, that's how she spells it). She's the 21-year old Jessica Simpson lookalike that "was brought to the game by The Post after news broke that Romo was angering Dallas fans by jetting off to Mexico for a seaside romp with girlfriend Simpson when he was supposed to be training in the days before the big game."

So if I have this right: After the Giants upset the Cowboys, the Post "reported" that the Jessica Simpson lookalike IT planted in the crowd shared some of the credit, AND that was the front page story! There's a name for a newspaper that has to invent its own front page stories - it's called The National Enquirer. No more, NY Post, you don't deserve to be called a reputable source. And stop wagging the dog anyway. As a giant fan, I'm embarrassed by the Post this week. As a human being, I'm embarrassed by it most other weeks.

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In a related story, NFL.com needs to stop doing this:

NO!
NOT!
YET!

I got this e-mail offer earlier this week and I lost it.
Why on earth would any sports fan EVER pre-order that? They haven't won anything yet!
Pre-order is for Harry Potter books, because there's no will it/won't it involved. The book is coming out. The Giants will win or lose. These shirts will end up all over the NY metro area, or all over some third world country, depending on what happens on Sunday. But until Sunday, i don't want to see or hear any of this. Don't jinx it!

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We need to stop referring to OJ Simpson as "Ex NFL star OJ Simpson." I think we all know who he is. And, if OJ were a Taboo word (I'm sure he is somewhere) his buzz words are probably:
KNIFE, BLOODY GLOVE, FORD BRONCO, JUDGE ITO, BUFFALO BILLS, and it's doubtful Buffalo Bills even makes the cut ahead of Marcia Clark, Johnny Cochran, Nicole Brown, Ron Goldman, even Hertz and the Naked Gun. And now OJ is back in big legal trouble because of a shameful scheme to steal back his own memorabilia. That's pretty disgraceful, and the NFL has enough problems with its current players.

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Hamas needs to stop firing rockets into Israel from the Gaza Strip. First of all, they suck at it. Those rockets have primitive technology, no aim, and they don't do much damage. Still, Israel won't tolerate Islamic militants firing into Israel unprovoked. So what does the Israeli military do? They retaliate with sophisticated weaponry, and they kill people. Israeli military strikes have killed 35 people since Monday. That's almost triple the number of Israelis who have been killed by Hamas rockets since 2001.

Secondly, Hamas is only hurting the people it claims to fight for by firing the rockets into Israel. Because it causes Israel to cut off the flow of food supplies and electricity and petroleum to Gaza. Very little makes sense in Israel when it comes to "the situation," but there seems to be a simple solution to this cycle of violence, and it must start with Hamas. Boys, put down your silly rockets that don't hit anything and Israel will stop destroying your buildings and killing your people and you can attempt to govern yourselves.

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Ok, Dennis Kucinich - it's time to stop running for president. When your campaign spends more time in the courtroom trying to get your name on the ballot and fighting your way into debates, it's time to hang it up and tell your supporter to vote for someone else.

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American Idol needs to stop humiliating talentless hacks, even if they ask to be humiliated. I'm not the only one who thinks this, either. Ratings for the season premiere were down from last year, an indication that people are tired of watching ridiculous people make total asses of themselves on national TV while Paula, Randy and Simon repeat the same 6 phrases they've been repeating for 6 years. The novelty of it all is about 5 years too old.

I have an idea.
How about next season you take 500 of the best singers to Hollywood and you make it a real competition right from the start? I'd watch.

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The writers strike needs to stop. I'm watching too much Food Network. And American Idol sucks.



3 comments:

Samantha said...

Noooo!! Never too much Food Network!!!!

hehe.

Samantha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
brookLyn gaL said...

Haha, yes! All of those things need to stop immediately. :)

And someone please bring back tv. I don't know how much longer I can go without new episodes of The Office and How I Met Your Mother.