Friday, May 18, 2007

Story of the Week -- May 14-18

Good News!

ABC released its preliminary fall schedule this week as part of that hyper-optimistic time of year when Hollywood forces us all to get excited about shows that will be off the air by October (remember 6 Degrees? The Nine? Knights of Prosperity? Day Break? yeah, me neither.) Among the new offerings from ABC is that Grey's spinoff whose pilot was shoved down our throats in the middle of a terrible episode of Grey's itself, as well as Cavemen, a sitcom based on those Geico commercials with the easily-offended neanderthals.

According to ABC Entertainment chief, Cavemen's producers pitched a show that involved ""really taking a look, through this kind of odd lens, [at] the idea of racial relationships and minorities in this country. It gives you the ability to kind of offend everyone but offend no one, except for the cavemen themselves." So not only is ABC trying to squeeze an entire series out of a one trick pony TV commercial, they are also trying to pass it off as a groundbreaking show the likes of All in the Family.

Is the comedy genre so downtrodden that it's hanging it's future on a couple of cavepeople? Well, I don't think so, but ABC does. The network put the kibosh on one of its longer running sitcoms (The George Lopez Show) and it has another long-runner on death row (According to Jim) in favor of Cavemen as well as a male-bonding comedy called Carpoolers and another sitcom starring Christina Applegate. CBS and NBC have been way ahead in the comedy department lately, with How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men going strong for The Eye, and The Office and 30 Rock anchoring a Thursday night comeback for The Peacock. 30 Rock is one of a few shows that stuck around from last year's rollout of new shows, a success story that all the networks claim to have ready to go for next year.

The hyper-optimism of the new tv season drives me crazy, and I can't imagine what it does to people who make these shows. There has to be a better way to find hits. Right now the failure rate is so ridiculously high that we are forced to get our hopes up over shows on an annual basis only to have them suck. And now ABC is telling us that Cavemen is going to be the next big thing.

That's not all, though. This new sitcom won't star the guys from the commercial. Those characters we've grown to love, felt for in those therapy sessions and at the airport and on fake tv news shows, we won't even be seeing them in the sitcom! Why not? They wanted too much money. You know, that's so typical of those freakin cave men, money grubbing bastards. Damn cavies, acting like they're so much better than we are. Well someone needs to put them in their place.

Maybe the show has untapped potential after all...I mean anything's better than The George Lopez Show, right?

Well, not according to George Lopez:

George Lopez fuming over
cancellation of his sitcom

Associated Press - May 15, 2007

George Lopez is losing his sitcom -- and
as a result, he says "TV just became really, really white

ABC canceled "George Lopez" after five seasons. He says the network told
him it would lose money if the show was renewed. But Lopez tells the Los Angeles
Times that his show did better than some of the series that were renewed.

He's especially peeved that a sitcom starring the cavemen from the Geico
commercials was picked up. He asks why a "Chicano can't be on TV, but a caveman

Lopez says to have his sitcom canceled "unceremoniously like this
However, his show will live on in syndication.

Silly George Lopez, your show wasn't cancelled because you're Chicano. Your show was cancelled because your show sucks and nobody watches it.

There is good news, though...

ABC just saved 15% on car insurance by switching to Geico!

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