Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Wednesday Wordplay

Good thing there's only 1 primary on Tuesday, April 22. We're running out of good titles for Tuesdays with multiple primary elections.

Anyway, this week's Wednesday wordplay isn't about election titles (Super Tuesday 2? Super-Duper Tuesday? Texas Tuesday, and also 3 other states that don't start with T?), but it's similar.

Ok, in 1992, the New York Mets spent a pile of money in the off season, bringing in Pirates' star slugger Bobby Bonilla, along with Pitcher Bret Saberhagen, Future hall-of-famer Eddie Murray, and a new manager, Jeff Torborg. The Mets marketing team went with the slogan "Hardball is Back", which turned out to mean "This time we'll suck for more money." The team finished 72-90, good for 5th place in the NL East. In 1993, their slogan should have been "the worst team money could buy" as they went 59-103.

Fast forward, it's 2005, Mets new GM Omar Minaya signs Carlos Beltran and Pedro Martinez and hires new manager Willie Randolph, generating all kinds of optimism in the marketing department. In '05, they're the "New Mets". In '06, it's "The Team. The Time." All season long, "the team, the time, the ticket", "the team, the time, the t-shirt" on and on and on, and what did it mean?

The Team. The Time. The heartbreaking Game 7 loss in the NLCS.

The Marketers regroup. Mets 2007: "Your Season Has Come." These marketing guys should be forced to turn around and spit or something after they come up with their slogans from now on.
Finally, in 2008, the marketers get a break. No slogan this year, it's the last year of Shea Stadium, the slogan is self-evident. And there's no chance that the slogan won't come true.

For me, it means I can make fun of other teams' stupid slogans because my team doesn't have one. Here they are, along with what they really mean:

Toronto Blue Jays
What they say: It's always game time
What it means: Yeah sure, whenever you can get here, eh?

Atlanta Braves
What they say: Welcome to the bigs.
What it means: In case you didn't notice, we play Major League Baseball here and we won 14 straight division titles, what is wrong with you people? Come to our games!

Chicago Cubs
What they say: NL Central Champs 2007
What it means: Still haven't been to the World Series since 1945, and it's been 100 years since we won it.

Seattle Mariners
What they say: MOJO Risin'
What it means: We're good again!

Florida Marlins
What they say: You gotta be here!

Washington Nationals
What they say: Pledge Your Allegiance
What it means: It's a pun. because, Washington DC is the capital of America, and you say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag...of America, like so then you say it to the team, you pledge allegiance to a team like when you go to games and root for them and wear their hats, so pledge allegiance and Pledge of Allegiance, see? yeah, it's good.

Baltimore Orioles
What they say: This is Birdland
What it means: We got this slogan in a trade we made with the Blue Jays and Peter Angelos is forcing us to use it even though it sucks.

We used to have Cal Ripken, Jr. Our stadium is still really nice.

Texas Rangers
What they say: You could use some baseball
What it means: Meh, it's a baseball team.

Cincinnati Reds
What they say: "C" you there!
What it means: Get it? Cause Cincinnati starts with C!

Colorado Rockies
What they say: 2007 National League Champions
What it means: We finally got something to put next to that "1995 NL Wild Card Winner" banner.

Kansas City Royals
What they say: New. Blue. Tradition
What it means: As opposed to the old blue tradition of winning.

Detroit Tigers
What they say: Who's your tiger?
What it means: We're grrrrrrrrreat!

Minnesota Twins
What they say: This is your state. This is your team.
What it means: Hence - Minnesota. Twins.

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