Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Ok, Time for some Foofaraw

In case you're just tuning in:

Foofaraw -- n. a great fuss or disturbance about something very insignificant

Here we go:

I can't help feeling today like I was "that guy" on the train and, worse, "that guy" on the Subway and in the Subway station. You know, that guy who schleps on a ton of luggage, takes up extra seats, clogs up the turnstiles, stops at the bottom of the stairs to pick up his inordinately heavy bag. You know, that guy. Normally, I hate that guy. But today, I was that guy.

See, I'm moving on Saturday but my lease starts today, so I schlepped in a suitcase and an air mattress for my first night in the new apartment. But that meant commuting in with all that stuff. And it meant getting slightly stuck in a subway turnstile, taking up an extra seat or general area in the subway car, then pausing ever so slightly to pick up my inordinately heavy rolling suitcase to climb up the stairs.

So if I held you up today by being that guy, I'm sorry. I'm fully aware of my transgression, but it was unavoidable. Oh what's the difference, you're not reading this anyway...

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Looking for somebody, anybody, who either has used or knows someone who has used or bought HeadOn. Did you apply directly to the forehead? Did it work? I have to know.

Then again, I could watch the commercials over and over until I give myself a headache and try it for myself.

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Today my co-worker told me that male sharks have two penises, and nobody knows exactly why.

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The following is a transcript of the monologue from what I think might be the most overlooked commercial ever:

(internal monologue) wait a minute!
This feels all wrong. Just because they're doing it doesn't mean I have to.
Why eat a hamburger made from frozen beef? It'll be all dry!
Instead of fresh. And juicy.
Frozen hamburger? This is ridiculous!

(out loud) I deserve a hot...juicy burger.
That's right, you heard me! I deserve a hot juicy burger.
And not because I can tear a phone book with my bare hands! No!
I deserve a hot juicy burger because I have a mouth, and it wants one.
And so do you.


And so do you!


Hot juicy burger!


Hot juicy burger!


Hot juicy burger!


Hot juicy burger!

Genius.

2 comments:

brookLyn gaL said...

Luckily, you go to work far earlier than I do. :)

The people in the newest commercials seem to have used HeadOn. "I hate your commercial, but I LOVE your product." I'm pretty excited that they acknowledge how annoying the commercials are. At least they know.

Samantha said...

Hate to admit it, but I have used HeadOn...wasn't sure if it was the placebo effect or what, but it seemed to work. Kind of felt like putting Vicks Vapo-rub on my head, but it didn't make anything worse!